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Earthshaker (EP)

by Kurtis Kanttila

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Hey, Montana Prime Americana Cutest girl from Maine to Nevada Sweet, Montana Grand as a piano Makes you lose your manners Somewhere in a town that's halted All progress since '56 Montana dared to show her hips At the local geezer's burger flip The sheriff had to be called in and nearly put the girl behind bars Until the bikers came and with chains and the greasers joined to fan the flames The fancy ladies drinking champagne and local losers huffing propane Didn't dare miss the brawl In the parking lot of Burger Mall Hey, Montana The Boss like Diana I'd call her the cat's pajamas Sweet Montana Cool as a banana Her favorite Cars album is Panorama Montana feigned acting meek As she was stealing enough food for the week The other seat in her Pontiac Was full of grease from the fake big macs She was a girl worth fighting for She was worth the whole world and more The rough boys trying to win her heart Dueling as she smoked their darts The town sign in her sunglasses Vanished as she drove out of Texas She was a bad girl no doubt In her Solstice singing to Figured You Out Hey, Montana Black Stone Nana Best Of Both Worlds just like Hannah Sweet Montana Find your Shrek, Fiona Hit Bruce Banner with the gamma Montana rolled into Ontario Settled down and made some dough Her cowboy shirt was always neat and her twin tails danced along to the beat Montana soon made her assent All the hosers loved her accent She opened a place to get rib and steak All in her namesake
Well Wealthy Wally, he has it made Ain't got a wife, to drain his bank He ain't got no kids shitting in diapers Just CRA agents sitting with snipers His offshore bank account can't be found It's under the sea where you ain't bound To dive deep to the Gungans Who give great tax deductions The agents look through his trash cans Review every document that they can Trudeau, he ain't got a clue How Wally made this revenue He made it as a kid selling lemonade with Roberta, his maid Dad made him glad when he gifted the young lad A storefront built by underpaid men without papers Wally got rich, from digging in the ditch Getting his hands dirty at 7:30 Using the CAT machine, which Roberta kept clean On the property Father purchased Because Wally liked the PC game, of the same thing So Dad took a jet to Alberta and sent Wally his very own construction toy Which he learnt to drive from his butler Roy Now Wally gives speeches, all the teens he reaches Say they can do it to One day you work at Wendy's The next day you own the whole world
One day, in 2011 I was walking to Thrift Store Picturing the records I desired in my mind I was thinking of Rocky IV as I busted down the door I ran to the sales rack and began to dig There it was! Led Zeppelin II! The initials on the back belonged to you It was so scratched to Hell (But baby) it had a story to tell Every party you threw, of every friend who borrowed it The basement flood of '96, all the extreme frisbee tricks I looked inside and found the Eaton's receipt $3.09 was all you paid for it But when I put it on I felt defeat! A skip on Living Loving Maid Bacon crackle over the Ramble On fade Moby Dick was popping more Than the glass of Pepsi that I just poured A Christmas gift from Uncle Nick Because your parents wouldn't get you the Devil's shit They didn't let you see KISS They were hospitalized by Black Sabbath riffs They used to listen to the Eagles Until the Church made Hotel California illegal Your Grandparents hated Elvis and now you hate your kid's Billie Eilish All the romantic things that I had thought About this moldy trash I had soon forgot I regretted that I even wasted a loonie On a piss stained album that sounded so goofy
Taco Time, Super Beef was on my mind The paradigm, shifted somewhere down the line Because the freaks, were out, in broad daylight I shrieked, and dropped, my sodie pop College cosplay meeting, Haruhi at the door greeting College cosplay meeting, at lunchtime Fairy Tail, tattoo on Erza's behind Without fail, Naruto fans cross the line and the Death Note, was sitting, on the table Jibun wo!, was playing, from C.C.'s cable College cosplay meeting, Sousuke Sagara greeting College cosplay meeting, at lunchtime College cosplay meeting, melon pan for the feeding College cosplay meeting, at Taco Time College cosplay meeting, Bleach fans got me retreating College cosplay meeting, at lunchtime Azusa, Tamaki, Black Rock Shooter Kumiko, Tamako, Kagami, Kyou Luffy, Piccolo, Ichigo, Natsu Amuro ~ Furimukanaide ~ Simon, Kamina, Yoko Usagi, Sakura, Riko and don't you dare forget Yoshiko
Fake Fan 03:37
Meet this dude, he couldn't be anymore rude He sits eating pizza, in his underwear If you talk about Batman, he's going to defeat you Don't make a mistake, he's got an encyclopedia brain "Actually, that happened, in issue 222" Ya but actually, you've never had a shower, have you? He went to the mall, and he was right on the ball Challenging girls wearing Metallica shirts "Name three albums and the bassist after Cliff Williams" and I said wait, that's the guy from AC/DC! "Actually, I don't care, you're a fake fan Unlike me, who owns their tour van" (In 1/12th scale!) After that whole scene, he was feeling alone So I made him a profile, on Plenty of Fish He was caught by this lady with a Hogwarts tattoo He didn't really like but I said, what are you gonna do? You won't find, someone who's just like you and if you did, you would hate her guts, that's true! So buddy finally met that girl and I nearly threw a fit When he put on some pants and washed his armpits


EP from One Man Band Kanttila.

All songs written/performed by : Kanttila

Album Artwork by: kemaltafwidh


released March 18, 2022


all rights reserved



Kurtis Kanttila

The Rock 'n Roll stylings of instinct.

Kurtis Kanttila is a guitarist, drummer, songwriter and singer from Northern Ontario who makes music to express his personality, longings and mundane fascinations.

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