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Garbage Day

by Kurtis Kanttila

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Kaletta 03:02
Get on! In the ol' town Kaletta, had nothing better to do She would be burning buildings, if not for parole That kind of boredom creates misery That kind of boredom is a killer In the ol' town Kaletta, was brewing up new crimes She was gonna steal some soda, with a siphon line That kind of boredom creates misery That kind of boredom is a killer Kaletta with the high stiletto You're a sneaky getter, you Kaletta with your high stiletto She's coming after us Kaletta with the high stiletto Open your trunk and throw me in girl In the Taco Time Kaletta, had a graceless ace up her sleeve A tube that went to her backpack, at the pop machine That kind of boredom creates misery That kind of boredom burns a stagnant heart Kaletta never stops She siphons all that pop Kaletta, go get 'er!
It’s got a burnt out frame, rotten seats and smashed in windows But still we come here again, out to the forest of the automobiles And from this dashboard, I see through memories They sure ain’t mine, but they’re here We were just out to steal copper, none of us are really good talkers Until we found this forest, full of old cars and so we sit in this Chevy, hands on the wheel like we think we're ready To get this thing off the ground and drive some girls around It takes a thousand drinks, for these guys to talk about their feelings Rum has broken the dam, and now all is for revealing And from this dashboard, we make new memories The cars will rust in peace, and so will we We came across a camp abandoned, broke down the door and just imagined Dancing happy people, across these floors Girls look at us with resentment, 'cuz we're dorks and we just don't get it We wanna be the dudes in the movies, with the cool cars Our ideas of what to be, were shaped by a past That's overgrown, and just unknown, like these cars so trashed
I'm part of the Croatian Swim Team Been doing this thing since I was nineteen and when we hit the showers I gotta run I just grab a towel and then I'm done Here comes my massive, crippling inability To go swimming, OH GOD I'm part of the Croatian Swim Team I transport the water and it ain't a dream and if you ask what excites me I'd say a camel's storage capacity Here comes my plastic, kiddy swimming pool It's just for practice... Couldn't make it as part of my own country's team Then I tried Finland but it was a garbage dream Italy wasn't right 'cuz I ain't a made man Suddenly Croatia took me by the hand
Captain Chihiro, your dogs are in the cages Rattle your water cup and break that bread girl One of these days you might wonder where the leash ends Who turns the screws with a Dull Man's Hand Captain Chihiro, just grab another beer Captain Chihiro, getting wasted by the sea Is this what I wanted to be - is this what I wanted to be The waves clean my body but can never cleanse my soul Captain Chihiro, I wonder if I'm happy Or if I've resigned to a life that's just "okay" Captain Chihiro, the answers will appear so Get up and find them, you gotta move to be free Is this what I wanted to be - is this what I wanted to be The waves clean my body but can never cleanse my soul
Mall Jail 04:57
It started with the Garfield colouring book That's when my crimes began fella I'm a regular shopping mall crook But have you heard of this girl named Kaletta In the empty Zellers that's where I met her Practicing shibari on a mannequin Her Hawaiian shirt was mostly unbuttoned and I saw the gallon of pop she siphoned I showed her all the ketchup packets I stole I had the planograms from Shoppers up my nose She drew a pen swiped from the RBC and on a Husky napkin wrote out some plans for me We found a way to the mall Christmas tree In a passage to Manchu Wok In normal hours it seemed a bit too obvious to me and we were arrested by the mall cop She said "Do you come here often?" "Those cuffs compliment your eyes" I'm a regular flyer My discount's five finger style I make a living down at the pawn shop Selling new CDs a buck at a time I got a screwdriver hidden in my sock and I'm gonna take a stop sign We sat there hands were cuffed behind our backs The mall cop was busy with his farmer's wrap Kaletta would get us out of this no doubt She jumped on his shoulders for the knock out He's off to a place called Heaven Between Kaletta's thighs and now we're drinking his Jäger and eating all the Mexi-Fries I watch the shoppers on TV Wearing a stolen uniform Me and Kaletta run this Mail Jail Us petty crooks will prevail
Archeology 03:42
What's old is mold, grow across the past Your flash backs are flatulent ass Building a whole life, on your first few years Last time you ruled I was young Now you ain't cool, there's no more fun In your constant search for childhood Digging up looking for the bones, gonna rebuild my skeleton Life will slowly shatter it around and I will make my throne of all of these old cereal boxes Finally found something that's as stale as me Archeology If at 35 I'm playing with Bionicles Making those old review videos Press me against your chest and smother me to death Please God, I ain't religious But you can smite me if I do this Euthanize me if you catch me making a CatDog video essay Flipping through my memories, figure out how to relive them Cry and order Pizza Hut, again Oh shit! I got some nostalgia, in the folds of this cardboard Finally found something that's as greasy as me Rattle my bones all over the stones if you catch me with a Funko Drop a nuke on my house if it fills with nostalgic junk Remember when SpongeBob was good? Remember when Halo was good? Remember when Tims was good? Remember when water was good? They don't make it like they used to I'll keep these memories to myself, I'll find my past without your help So you can fuck off with your marketing ploy Your youth was more than stupid toys, cartoons, movies and music boy Did you forget that? I think that you did!
Get on! I'm a farming man, from Saskatchewan Loading up on cans 'Cuz I'm still thinking that Cuba could strike, tonight I met a cattle lass at a square dance Sitting in the hay She spun a lasso across my heart, alright Girl, I'll be your rancher The best there is around If you moved any faster We'd pass the speed of sound All I know, my crops grow and I'm unemployed when it snows So with you, I'll start a new As a cattle ranching man My parents came from the Ukraine Looking for the wheat So my last name isn't Polish, braski I just Diefenbaked, some jello cake and I'm hoping you ain't late 'Cuz my 418 is shiny and clean, oh yee Girl, get on my tractor The best there is around The blade goes pitter patter My heart beats to that sound and then, it's back in the pen When the winter comes again But with you, I'll start a new As a cattle ranching man So won't, you take a look inside my barn I've got Donna Summer records playing all night long Didn't I, didn't I tell you I'm a disco guy If I, had any friends they'd say it's fine (Saskatoon Cowgirl) She, left the premises and took my heart along I, just sit here crying In the silo all night long Disco, had to go So I sing a different song I'm left, you're right She's gone
Pop sucks Rock sucks Metal sucks Punk sucks! Reggae sucks Country sucks Grunge sucks The Blues suck! Today I got this feeling that all music is garbage I'd rather look at Bettie Page in- Classical sucks Shoegaze sucks Indie sucks What the fuck is Grindcore? Today I got this feeling that all music is garbage I'd rather look upon Bettie Page in-
He missed the last bus on the way back home Time to sniff the roses Dying through the concrete cracks The nightlife poses Don't you show me your nightly world Please just let me through I don't want to give you nothing Let me slip on through! He meets a lady with platform shoes and chains Midnight begins Through her fishnets he sees a goat's skull, tattooed on her skin "Can I get you somewhere else? Into my nightly world I'll take you from the cities darkness and bring you straight to mine" I'll run into Hell screaming Don't care if I live to tell and if she kills me this evening I'll be good food for the rats When all dignity has drained and there's no more sense of shame Park this empty transport Where the dumpsters have no name It was heard on the radio stations We destroyed the peace in 27 nations


22nd album by One Man Band Kanttila

All songs written/performed by Kanttila


released August 27, 2021


all rights reserved



Kurtis Kanttila

The Rock 'n Roll stylings of instinct.

Kurtis Kanttila is a guitarist, drummer, songwriter and singer from Northern Ontario who makes music to express his personality, longings and mundane fascinations.

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