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Mall Jail

from Garbage Day by Kurtis Kanttila

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lyrics

It started with the Garfield colouring book
That's when my crimes began fella
I'm a regular shopping mall crook
But have you heard of this girl named Kaletta

In the empty Zellers that's where I met her
Practicing shibari on a mannequin
Her Hawaiian shirt was mostly unbuttoned
and I saw the gallon of pop she siphoned

I showed her all the ketchup packets I stole
I had the planograms from Shoppers up my nose
She drew a pen swiped from the RBC
and on a Husky napkin wrote out some plans for me

We found a way to the mall Christmas tree
In a passage to Manchu Wok
In normal hours it seemed a bit too obvious to me
and we were arrested by the mall cop

She said "Do you come here often?"
"Those cuffs compliment your eyes"
I'm a regular flyer
My discount's five finger style

I make a living down at the pawn shop
Selling new CDs a buck at a time
I got a screwdriver hidden in my sock
and I'm gonna take a stop sign

We sat there hands were cuffed behind our backs
The mall cop was busy with his farmer's wrap
Kaletta would get us out of this no doubt
She jumped on his shoulders for the knock out

He's off to a place called Heaven
Between Kaletta's thighs
and now we're drinking his Jäger
and eating all the Mexi-Fries

I watch the shoppers on TV
Wearing a stolen uniform
Me and Kaletta run this Mail Jail
Us petty crooks will prevail

credits

from Garbage Day, released August 27, 2021

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Kurtis Kanttila

The Rock 'n Roll stylings of instinct.

Guitarist, drummer, bassist, songwriter and singer.

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